So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
