Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Congratulations! We have a period
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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