I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
