theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize