Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
