Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
