he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize