Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
