I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
