Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I still have a little drunk in my system
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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