I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
