I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't deserve a penis
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
