yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
