Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
