i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
