Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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