I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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