arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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