Buhtt sex?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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