well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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