So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
