i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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