if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
