If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
whose parrot is this?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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