Where did you get a picture of my penis
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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