WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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