he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
