So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
