C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
