what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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