i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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