I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize