Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
