That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
