my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
we should paint friendship bongs
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