What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
