You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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