So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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