I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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