were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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