You can't special order awesome
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I would ride that face into the sunset
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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