I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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