so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
