you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
