I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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