my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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