Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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