If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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