It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
