Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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