I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
