Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize