Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
