nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize