Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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