She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
