i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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